bird crap

Yep, I said bird crap....Well really I want to call it what it really is, but I'm trying to keep this entry somewhere under the PG rating....

Okay so bird crap is what happens when you don't roll up your windows at night.  That's right my friends!  This morning the whole family went out to the car to go to work and school when low and behold our car had become a roosting spot for birds overnight....

Imagine if you will this scene: the kids and I are in a rush to get to school and of course we are waiting on Alan...so the kids and I walked up to the car oblivious of the chaos we are about to be a part of.  As we approach the doors we hear flap, flap, FLAP!  Birds!!  I swear there were like 6,000 freakin icky yucky birds in our car.  Their wings were a going and they were squawking, although not as loud as the Chronister's...the darn birds had a hell of a time getting out of the car, and by the time they did we were all in hysterics.  Madie who says she loves animals but in reality is scared to death of them, Maegan who thinks all animals were put on the earth just for her and Adam who wants to disect the damn things to see how they work.  And then you have me.  I have seen the Hitchcock great The Birds, and I tell you it scared the hell out of me.  Complete with nightmares and all....I HATE BIRDS.  I do.  It is that simple...anyway, you can imagine all of us screeching, the 20,000 birds screeching...and the neighborhood watching. 

Yep...the kids waiting for the bus across the street, the moms waiting for the kids to diappear and Alan.  He walked out of the house just as the last bird took flight.  Once the comotion and hysterics ended the street started laughing.  First the punk kindergarten and high school kids waiting across the street started giggling and then our neighbor lady starting gawfing and then, the damn little traitors, my children.  YES MY CHILDREN started cackling.   I wasn't ready to laugh.  I wanted to get a gun and shoot first the birds, then the neighbors and finally my children, who laughed all the way to school. 

I did finally get a good laugh out of the whole thing when we got to school and both Madie and Adam had bird crap on their bums...Yes, it was a great day, oooh and the bird poop...EVERYWHERE..we must of scared it out of the roosting birds.  How in the world do you get bird poop out of upholstery???

Hoe your days are free of birds and their poop.  I send you all my love....